Report

Here’s one thing I’ve learned after 64 years of living on planet earth: People born on March 27 have the best friends in the world.

Young Belinda’s buddies placed her regally in a lawn chair at the entrance to Volunteer Park and sat at her feet with a sign facing traffic to “Honk for the Birthday Girl,” and pretty much every car—and at least one monster truck—did just that, tooting their horns merrily on such a fine spring day in honor of her birth 28 trips around the sun ago.

But the of chums this old man did even better, congregating at a bike shop to ride two-wheelers all around town in order to recycle a year-old idea of commemorating human beings’ artistic accomplishments in literature, film and popular music for the years 1957, 1978, and 1999, infused in part with cannabis cookies and Covid-safe whiskey shots.  

Top that, no way.

And while the Friends of Belinda were unabashed in support of their Aries companion (as any Aries companion can’t help but expect), neither of them came out for her on a Dunkin’ Donuts-themed tandem bicycle or wore a green fright rig or, as far as I know, were willing to race uphill and finish by chugging a can of Rolling Rock beer just for the stupid fun of it.

Of course, I have had an extra 36 years on her to cultivate my amigos; even so, I’m not sure that even with three-plus decades more of practice, that anyone’s friends could live up to the standard of mine, who scarcely wavered in indulging me one more opportunity to amuse myself at their behest, in spite of the fact that there was at least one crack in the theme and eventually, after so much dilly-dallying, completion had to be set aside for practicality.

But that meant one more place with even more friends: the best in the world all time, this year and every year.

Triple Majority Time Trial

Update 3/16/20: Race postponed until who knows when.  It's going to happen, though, and when it does, we'll all have fun!

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In celebration of bikes, beer, recreational cannabis, friends and family, another year, (one which matches the name of your world's favorite local bike shop: 2020!) another birthday, the arrival of spring, and above all, the third, count 'em third, opportunity celebrate turning 21 all over again, 327 Words proudly presents the Triple Majority Time Trial, an alleycat-style bike race featuring loads of grown-up entertainment and plenty of adult beverages  beginning at 2020 Cycle at 21st and Union in Seattle, WA on Saturday, March 28, 2020 at 3:27 sharp, signups commencing around 2:30 or so.

Come on out and try not to puke on your shoes as you cycle through the years 1978, 1999, and 2020 in order to relive some of the finest moments of those prior decades and to experience at least one or two seconds of pure bliss in the present moment.

Riders, following the traditional group time trial format, will pack together 63 years of nonsense into a little less than 21 miles (and almost exactly 32.7 kilometers) of "racing," along with numerous opportunities to reflect on films, books, and music a 21, 42, or 63 year-old might have enjoyed back in those days.

Race happens, no matter how old you are, rain or shine, no crying or fatal crashes allowed.  Ten bucks suggested donation, (includes a $2.00 donation to Planned Parenthood) with free drinking glasses for the first 63 riders,

Prizes—cash and bike schwag—to be awarded for fastest times, men’s and ladies’ divisions, as well as runner-up positions, including, of course, DFL.

Prize sponsors and friends currently on tap or being recruited include:Portland Design Works, Sock Guy, Liquid Courage Flasks, Pabst Blue Ribbon,  2020 Cycle, Swift Industries, Peloton Bicycle Shop and Cafe, Vapolution Vaporizers, Walz Caps,  Peddler Brewery, Pace Sportswear, Cyclefab, All-City Cycles, Twin Six, Good Weather Bike and Cafe, and Deb's Lunch.

Embrace this chance to attain your full majority of fun three times over, and always remember, Safety Third!

Friends, relations, and those too adult to ride, but not to drink, are invited to show up at Bill's Off-Broadway  after about 6:00 for more adult-themed fun and prizes, too!